


Shinji-kun's Terminal Dogma?!

by sinjikun



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Cheesy, Crack, I Don't Even Know, Innuendo, M/M, Parody, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Spoilers, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinjikun/pseuds/sinjikun
Summary: Shinji and Kaworu have some kinks? No judgement though. Only lots of really bad innuendos. Inspired by funny shit from doujins and the like (first crack fic, plz be gentle). Credits at the end!
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	Shinji-kun's Terminal Dogma?!

Shinji swallowed heavily, watching Kaworu from underneath. Both his wrists were pinned down, his naked, slender body gently rested against white sheets, fragile chest rising and falling. Inside, his heart thundered, a feverish anticipation only matched by his flushed and desperately sensitive expression, dark hair sprawled against the pillow. Eyes half lidded, the boy managed to break the silence. 

“K-Kaworu.... can you...?” His throat was still very dry.

Straddling him, a shirtless Kaworu watched, enraptured not only by Shinji's _entire_ being, but by his latest request as well. To think that he was content with gazing at this boy mere minutes ago. How fast things change. Red eyes wide, he slowly, carefully, asked— 

“Shinji, you mean to say...... my Lance of Longinus... _inside_ your Central Dogma?”

The boy wordlessly nodded. After that, he adverted his gaze, face burning. He was uselessly hard. Everything about him felt shameful, but he couldn't have imagined it getting any worse.

Such naughty words. 

“As you wish...” _So timid._ Kaworu smiled, half knowingly. And then he said goodbye to his pants. 

* * *

“Wait, Kaworu... ah, _n-noo_.....” With a whine, Shinji suddenly tugged on his lover’s arm. 

The boy’s voice was so soft, he almost hadn’t heard him. 

“No...?” Kaworu ceased the thrusts only to give him the gentlest look of concern. Seeing Shinji shivering underneath, he thought to reach out and caress his beautifully flushed face, but— 

“N-No, it’s just... um....... Kaworu, I think... I want you deeper.....” There was just a hint of tears in his blue eyes. 

Kaworu’s widened, but another smile quickly followed. Even Shinji's long and uncertain pauses were heaven. He felt that he could've waited forever. This boy's shy and awkward nature— most of the time, he was just begging to be protected, like a small dog.

“Shinji.... You really want me to reach your Terminal Dogma....? How indecent of you.” 

“But... I can’t help it....... **aah—!!** ” 

_Smack smack thrust thrust slap slap—_

“Kaworu...!” Said Angel had suddenly lost his mind. More moans spilled from Shinji's mouth, his hands grabbing the sheets, eyes squeezed tight. Kaworu was suddenly in hard and fast, pounding away like there was no tomorrow. 

And somehow, he still thought this was a good time to talk. 

“You’re so warm, Shinji— you’re sucking all of me inside you… I still don’t quite understand Lilin and their pleasure principle, but... oh, perhaps not. This is truly wonderful... _I think I was born just to do you._ ” 

“K-Kaworu... aah!” As usual, Shinji could only understand about half of what he said. Not that it mattered. It was only through a miracle that he didn’t come right then and there. 

_Very cute, though._ And hearing his moans get louder made Kaworu think. 

“Still... it might be dangerous if we keep merging together...... I’ll completely destroy your A.T. Field, you know?” 

“Aah, _nnh..._ it’s okay... becoming one feels good—!!”

How honest. “You’re so cute— but still... please know this.” He leaned in close, and with a purr next to his ear— “ _You have such a nice existence, Shinji._ It’s very firm...”

Oh..... **_Oh._** With a sharp gasp, Shinji suddenly twitched, whimpering in sheer ecstasy. That was possibly the hottest compliment that anyone had ever said to him, unfortunately. 

“K-Kaworu.... _aah..._ y-yes...!” Shinji’s hands were suddenly clawing at his back now, clinging and clinging for that sweet validation. To hear more of it, he’d forced himself not to come right then and there _(again)._

Kaworu sensed this as well. “Oh, Shinji... you’re a very good boy, aren’t you?” 

“I.... p-please...!!” He was definitely onto something. 

“My, when did you learn how to beg like that?" He surely had to reward him. Not that he would _ever_ be against doing the filthy things that were about to come out of his mouth. _Ah, it made sense._ He must have become a fallen Angel a long time ago. "You can fall asleep on my shoulder any day... would you like me to cuddle with you as well? Let’s play piano together until the sun sets..... and after that, I want to hold your hand all night long while we stargaze, Shinji. Would you want me to do those things to you?”

“Aah... aah, aah— _Kaworu...!!”_ It seems he was losing his mind, especially from imagining hand holding. What a simple and filthy boy. In the end, he can't run away from his base desires. Something about that was... it was...

For once, Kaworu moaned. “Aah, Shinji! Just look at you..... you’re blowing my mind.” 

“B-Blowing your mind...?” 

Something else entirely awakened inside Kaworu. “Yes! Oh, God—! **Say it again**...!!” 

Shinji’s eyes went wide, and he quickly obeyed. “I’m, uh.... _aah..._ I-I’m blowing your mind...!” 

The uncertainty in his tone, his eagerness to please— so adorable, and all just for him? Kaworu choked back another two paragraphs of deep philosophical discussion regarding the human condition and free will, instead allowing himself to drown in a soup of pleasure. 

_Sweet Jesus, there was a huge Anti A.T field in here._ And it was only getting bigger. 

“ _Oh, Shinji...!!_ You’re so...! Fantastic... I can’t hold back much longer—— say it to me again!!” 

Of course, his violent thrusting only got harder in the meantime. Moaning helplessly, Shinji clung to him for life, somehow managing the words one more time, like a mantra (wouldn't be the first time).

“I’m...!! I’m blowing your mind, Kaworu!! I’m blowing your mind!! I’m—I’m gonna... ah, _aah—_ w-wait....!! I gonna... I’m gonna c—"  
  


_Spluuuuuurt._

**Splaaaaaaaaat.**

* * *

The erratic mind of Shinji Ikari had already seen too much turmoil and hurt. And now, he sat in a folding chair, his small frame slumped over, hands clasped together against his forehead, expression covered in dark hair. In a desperate prayer, he was motionless— screaming into the blackness.   
  


“I didn’t have a choice!! Kaworu _wanted_ his mind blown— so I had to! I didn’t know... I didn’t know...!!”   
  
  


_Is that why his head literally flew off into space?  
  
  
_

“Yes...! It must’ve been amazing for him! That's the only reason!”  
  
  


_You didn’t do it for yourself?  
  
  
_

“N-No! He told me to do it...!!”   
  
  


Rei Ayanami was suddenly in front of him. Arms at her side, she stared at him, a simple posture that was as telling as her personality. She was ghost of someone gone. A ghost of herself. And then she spoke. Quiet, frail. 

“Shinji, I do a backflip every single day of my life.”   
  
  


It was the truth he never wanted to hear. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed!! look below for even better stuff:  
>   
> Kaworu Hits on Shinji (youtube)  
> Backflip meme (source?)


End file.
